Without this MotherWoman support group, I would not have made it through. …Every week, I had somewhere to vent and tell someone who understood what was going on. It was a safe place to say whatever I was feeling. No matter what stress I was under, they were there.
While I did feel deep love and a strong connection to my baby after he was born, I was not prepared for how constant and exhausting caring for a newborn is. I had many ideals for how I would mother and found myself “failing” in most of them – breastfeeding, cloth diapering, and just being the perfect mom with the perfect baby. …I felt like a burden to my family and had trouble asking for the help I needed and was also afraid to share the thoughts I had.
Everyone kept telling me “hang in there, it gets so much better.” For me, it got harder after 12 weeks. I knew some other mothers going to MotherWoman. I was resistant to coming because I didn’t want to sit in a group of depressed, sad women! But I was desperate so I decided to try. Thank God!
I think that I had a fairly “typical” postpartum period. My son didn’t have that sleepy first week or so, however – he just seemed to cry! I felt overwhelmed, wondered why he had done this, and I had a hard time finding any joy in it. Congratulatory cards advising us to “savor every moment” made me think something was wrong with us! My husband, who was home for the first six weeks, spent that time angry and resentful. I didn’t know how we were going to survive.